Pretty Fly for a Mama!

I get a lot of compliments about what I wear everyday so I wanted to start sharing my outfits and proving that mommy's can be cute and stylish!

This is what I wore during week 23!

The whole outfit other than the undershirt are from WH|BM! Even the denim are regular jeans and I wore with a BeBand holding them up! Who else loves those things??? Seriously I hate maternity pants, so this is my only solution, other than leggings!

Also I wanted to prove with this outfit that a pregnant lady can WEAR A BELT!

The undershirt is also made my BeBand and sold in Target. I really like their basic maternity wear! Comfy and easy!

xoxo

Let me take this moment....

....to reintroduce myself.

 Guess what folks? I'm back. And not in the half-assed way I was before. Okay seriously, this blogging stuff is hard work! I give you all props for doing it more consistently than I do! But blogging and working 40 hours a week proved to be a lot for me. But guess what? I miss it! I miss it so much! I miss the community and the ability to get those crazy words out of my head. They need out!!

 I'll update with a better and more specific post about what has been happening in my little world, but for now, let me leave you with this...

 ::aheam:: We are 15 weeks pregnant with baby number two!!! S

o it's a good time to start blogging again right? I thought so too.

Dancing Sober

I decided last night that going to Hip Hop Zumba was the best idea ever. I never took a Zumba class before, but I really like dancing in my living room, making up choreography to Katy Perry songs in my head, and especially getting down in a bar after a few drinks (okay so maybe that was more like 5 years ago, but I am known to get down every now then post baby).

So of course Zumba seemed like THE BEST and THE EASIEST workout ever!

ummmmm no.....

I went with complete confidence. I stood in the back row, because I wasn't THAT confident, but I felt like I could breeze through most of the moves. I was so wrong! Not only did I probably look like an idiot, I am sure a 90 year old woman would have danced circles around me in this class. I did every move wrong, I turned the wrong way, and almost smashed into the girl next to me at least 10 times.

I was sweaty. I was a mess. My cute ponytail I made at home before leaving was not a greasy mess! I soaked the cute new Victoria's Secret tshirt I bought. And I am 100% sure the guys lifting weights in the room next to us got a good laugh.

But you know what.... I had a wonderful time! I may have looked like a train wreck, and messed everyone up by going left when they went right, but I loved singing to all of the songs and just letting go! My teacher was wonderful and really encouraging. She acted goofy and really made me let loose, which I never do!

I really hope I can just let go from now on and see working out as something FUN and not a chore. I used to always see it as a chore and that is probably why I never did it. I bought so many videos and tried to eat right and do that whole thing... but it ALWAYS backfired! I would eat healthy for a day, then stop at taco bell and go crazy. I would join a gym then claim it was boring because I hate running.... come on its boring!!!!!!

I just have to shake things up... and shake my booty at Zumba again... maybe next week??

What's For Dinner - 2/22

I have been trying to make healthy meals that not only I will enjoy, but also Kirsten. She is usually a very good eater, as long as the veggies are cooked, she is willing to try them. Recently she has tried saw veggies, but only if she can dip them in ranch (she gets that from her daddy!!).

Tonight I wanted to do chicken and brocolli but spice it up a bit. I also didn't want to torture my child by giving her my plain chicken and steamed veggies. I also didn't want to cook two different meals for just us two.

So here we go... I did a little research (aka I typed "chicken stir fry healthy" into Google) and found this yumm-o recipe!!!!



KT'S HOMEMADE CHICKEN STIR-FRY
1 lb. chicken breast, cut into one inch cubes
soy sauce
2 tablespoons balsamic vinaigrette dressing
1 tablespoons yellow mustard
1/2 cup brown sugar
6 or 7 large carrots peeled, sliced in half, cut into angled pieces about 1 1/2 inches long
1 large green pepper, cut into lengthwise pieces and into smaller angled pieces
10 or so button mushrooms halved
1 large onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning, or to taste
salt and pepper, to taste
In a small bowl, combine chicken cubes and cover with enough soy sauce to completely cover chicken. Add mustard, brown sugar, and balsamic vinaigrette. Let marinate for 10 minutes.
Heat oil in a large wok on medium-high heat and add onions cooking until golden brown. Add garlic to onions once onions get soft, before they are golden brown. Add carrots, salt and pepper, and Cajun seasoning.

Let carrots cook for about 20 minutes. Add peppers.

Keep cooking at medium or medium-high heat, whichever keeps it simmering.

In a separate heated skillet on medium high heat, pour chicken along with marinade into skillet and let cook until chicken is cooked all the way through. Add mushrooms to the original wok and let cook for 3-4 minutes.

Add cooked chicken to wok and let simmer together for 5-10 minutes.

Serve over rice or alone.

Submitted by: Katie Leahy

Easy. Yummy. I can do leftovers tomorrow at work for lunch. PERFECT!!!!!!
Do you have a favorite stir fry recipe? Share below!!!!!!

New Year - New Start

I have to be truthful, I gave up on my blog because I felt like it had zero purpose. I felt like I was writing for the sake of writing, and to MAKE people read it. It wasn't fun, it became a hassle once I went back to full-time at work, and so it got neglected.

But I have a fresh new perspective and feel really confident about this!

Instead of this being a blog about me and my daughter, I realized it needs to first and foremost be about ME! Of course I will write about Kirsten and all of those wonderful toddler milestones, but I also want it to be able my journey... as a wife, mother, child, and daughter. I am so many things in one day, I forgot what it was like to see the world through my own eyes.

As I said before, I work full-time now. I am finally at a job that I adore, and I love everyone that I work with. It is pleasant. A first for me.

But going into the new year I noticed something. I was getting insanely out of shape. Now okay, I am the SIZE jeans I want to be, but do I fit into the way I want to? The answer is no. I have horrible eating habits and I drink way too much coffee and pop. Honestly its a wonder how I don't have a huge hole in my stomach.

So it is time for a change. It will be a particularly difficult challenge, because working retail makes things 10 times harder. We never have the same schedule, fast food is everywhere, and it is hard to create a SCHEDULE! Unlike other women who can diet or exercise and build it easily into their daily routine, I have the added challenge of never knowing my schedule too far in advance.

I hope to write down my progress here. But I also hope to write down a lot of my daily life as well. And let me tell you, working retail gives you some really interesting stories!

Let's start with a week one photo....

I hope to get some definition in the arms, back and stomach. I also hope to build up my strength, because I am sure my daughter can lift more than I can at this point!


So come on this journey with me?

And then she does this....

We took Kirsten to our local water park today for something different to do on this nice day. She had a great time splashing around and getting absolutely soaked in the big water park tree house.

But then it happened, she hit her wall.

She screamed, threw toys, threw other kids toys, and slobbered all over herself. When she has blotches all over he face from screaming so much, you know its time to go. We packed our things and started to leave when we noticed she fell asleep in the stroller. Being brave we decided to grab a spot under a tree and stay for a bit. She snoozed, we got a couple Coronas, and enjoyed the sun.

As soon as she woke up from her 45 minute nap she was back to being a little terror. We tried the pool again but no dice, she just really wanted to slobber and throw her little body into yoga poses on the grass. We were defeated so we packed up again to leave.

I stripped her down to change her back into dry clothes, and while standing on the towel, completely nude, she grabbed my glasses and did this....



Tell me something, how the heck can you be mad or frustrated with a toddler who is that funny?

Where A Kid Can Be A Kid

... and parents can be kids too!


We took Kirsten to our local amusement park, Kennywood, for the first time last week. It was a place we both went as kids and had millions of memories, so this was a big moment. It was a spontaneous trip, which turns out, are usually the best trips. There was a lot of room or error, taking a 1.5 year old to a huge park with loud noises and some rides that are much older than me.

We didn't expect her to be able to ride too much other than the merry-go-round. We were surprised that they allowed her on most of the rides in Kiddieland, and even more surprised that she ENJOYED it! My kid rocked that place. She loved the rides, even ones that turns and went sideways. She smiled from ear-to-ear and screamed "weeeeeeeeee" around every bend and turn. It was a really great moment. And she totally deserved the cheese fries with extra bacon for dinner (okay okay... honestly, I wanted to fries, but you can't go to Kennywood and NOT get the fries!).








Kenny Kangaroo!

Getting There is Getting By

Something that was not apart of our plan has come up and changed everything.

Since leaving my full-time assistant manager position I have devoted my time to being a full-time mommy to Kirsten. We realized I could not completely stop working, and landed a really amazing a flexible position at a store for a few hours a week. It worked. It worked great for us, Todd's schedule, and allowed me to be home with Kirsten.

But sometimes things just come up...

I love my job and the people I work with, and really feel at home there. I said from the start that they regained my confidence that retail doesn't have to be the disaster that my last job turned out to be. I could work for a good company and actually learn and move up... eventually. It took me a while to understand that retail was the place for me, and I think it really only took finding my right place to see that.

I expressed interest recently that I would be willing to move up if the opportunity came before me. We agreed that we would take things at a snail's pace. I liked the idea of easing into a job that would require more hours and more responsibility. That very day that we had the discussion, I get the phone call. The girl in the position above me has quit.

I could very well keep going with how things have been. I really liked staying home with Kirsten and being with her during the day, just us girls. I also liked having my release at work, somewhere to go that was just for me and doing something I was good at. I felt scared. I tend to take on more than I can handle because I am very much a people pleaser. Things go really well at first and I enjoy being constantly busy... and then it catches up to me and I feel overwhelmed. I didn't want that this time. I wanted my focus to be Kirsten and everything else would fall into place after that.

So how would this work?

Even though I am still struggling with being away from her a little bit more than before, and in the fall having to look for daycare, I know this is a good decision for me. Which is a super hard pill to swallow. It sits in my throat and nags at me constantly. Being selfish is hard to do when you have a terrific kid who you'd rather be selfish for. I love having her consume my life and I feel so proud when I take her places and do things with her. But I have to realize that its okay to be selfish for myself too.

I recently went to the mall alone for the first time since having Kirsten and I got my nails done. I loved every second of it, but I felt like I had something missing, like I had forgotten to put on pants before I went out of the house. I hated not having her with me. I hated having my identity taken from me. But I needed it, I needed that alone time.

So much like that, I need my own career. I love what I do and I'd hate to give up on something because I felt comfortable in what I was currently doing. It will be a slow process, and the hours won't be too consuming.

Baby steps, for all.

Of course!

a story, just in time for Father's Day

We have been very lucky with getting Kirsten to bed and how well she sleeps. We are on no schedule of any kind, but when she's down, she down until at least 8am.

So the other night it was rather odd that she stayed up until 10pm. With Todd being home since school has let out her schedule may be off, so I really didn't mind it too much.

It was around 10:30 that I decided to go up to her room and crash the little party she was having in her crib. I entered the dark room and saw her curly fro pop right up. I silently picked her up and sat down on the rocker with her, something that I haven't done for months. We rocked, I sang songs from Kindermusik (I figured they would be soothing? I don't know too many slow Michael Buble songs), and she began to settle down. I laid her down, put her covers over her, turned on her Giraffe sound machine, and left the room. I was confident this was it. So I turned on season 3 of True Blood (season 4 starts soon!). But she just would not give up!

This time I filled her cup up with milk and rocked her while she drank. I changed the songs to Katy Perry melodies, in hopes that it would be like in the car when she gets drowsy and sleeps through all of my pop tunes cranked up loud. We was settling down again so I put her down, changed the Giraffe's sounds, and left the room.

Back to True Blood... (oh gosh who isn't so excited to see what will happen with Vampire Eric??)

But nope, not even "Pictures of last night; Ended up online; I'm screwed" could sooth her into a blissful sleep.

I decided this time I would trust what we did before when sleeping training her and would only run her back until she falls asleep. I rubbed and patted, and finally just left my hand on her back. I thought she was asleep, or at least mostly asleep, so I left the room.

I was almost to the door when I heard her stir. I stopped, turned halfway around, and that's when I heard it...

"Bye Daddy"

Bye Kirsten, Goodnight
(Love, MAMA)

Wordless Wednesday

For my amazing father....


and for the one that surprises me every day....

GroVia Diapers - One Year Later

I started using GroVia (then GroBaby) diapers about a year ago when Kirsten was 5 months old. We used other cloth before that, and after being discouraged and burdened by all of the work, I almost gave up on cloth all together. On a whim I ordered these diapers, just to give it a try, and have never looked back since!

Thankfully they came out with new prints and colors recently, and have been working on making new products that are safe and environmentally friendly.

I bought Kirsten a few of the new prints, and really could not resist getting her the airplanes. Of course these are meant for boys, but who are we kidding here, they are TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!



Did you just die? Because I did when I put it on her!

I could keep going about how great I think GroVia is, and how someone who is hesitant about cloth diapering should give them a shot before giving up on the idea of cloth. They are easy to use and I have had ZERO problems with cleaning them. Most of my inserts, about a year later, are still stain free and as absorbent as ever!

The customer service is really amazing and have been there for me in a few pickles. Like the time the snaps stopped snapping or Kirsten's "sick" diaper stains almost ruined a whole batch of inserts.

One year later I am as happy as ever, and look forward to cloth diapering my growing toddler, using my adjustable GroVia diapers that will fit her little butt until she can use the potty.

Thank-you GroVia... and I hope every one is encouraged to give their cloth diaper companies a little hug sometime soon... they deserve it!

At the Zoo

We go to the zoo often. It is actually a joke amongst friends because it seems like we go a lot. But really, we have a pass and live 10 minutes away, so why not!

Usually if I go alone with Kirsten I try to make it through without having to carry her and push the stroller. We mostly visit the animals, eat lunch, then leave. But this time I got brave and took her out of the stroller a lot to see the animals up close. Previous trips it seemed like she barely saw the animals, or really had no interest. This time... she loved it!

Something that a place like the zoo teaches be each and every time is patience. It isn't easy to navigate an entire zoo with a 17 month old by myself. I see a lot of frustrated parents, and frustrated kids, and I always pass them and think, "I hope I never act this way." When in reality... I will. We all have our days and I can't judge them based on one small experience. My kid won't be good every time we go, nor will I always have the patience to deal with her in the 80 degree heat and crowds of people. But I hope I remember the fun days like these, when things were easy, and know that for every good day, we have a pretty kick ass day too.

Holding Hands

Kirsten has just learned how to walk while holding our hand. She does some independent walking but nothing that takes her from Point A to Point B. It is more, "oh this is fun!" and then she realizes that she can do what she always does (crawl) to her destination.

We discovered she can hold our hand and walk last week at the park. She went down a slide and I ushered her off of it by holding her hand, and she didn't let go! Normally she will bat my hand away, insisting she can do everything on her own. But this time she held on and took a few steps with me. It was one of the best moments I ever had with her.

She continued it a few days later at the pool. I stayed at the bar waiting for our check from dinner while Todd took her to the docks to see the boats. Her put her down and walked while holding her hand. I look down off the deck and see them walking, hand-in-hand, in the sunset. Again, magical.

I only just started holding her hand, and getting her to trust me to walk with her, when it all came crashing over me like a wave.

This happened....



We went out to dinner and decided to walk by the fountains afterwards. Todd held her hand and slowly walked her up to water as it shot out of the ground. She loved it. She shouted, "doggy!" as a big Pit Bull galloped through the fountain. It was a great end to a nice dinner.

Not wanting to be left out I took her hand and walked her around. My little girl, holding my hand, as we walked around in our pretty dresses. I loved it. And then a small girl with a pretty dress on came over. She was hesitant at first, but then I noticed her reaching for Kirsten's hand. She then hugged her, and we thought it was the sweetest thing. After a good "you are my new best friend" hug she reached for her hand again.

And this is where it gets me.

Kirsten took the girls hand and dropped mine.

Dead. Over. Heart smashed. I looked at my husband and he had a look of shock on his face. I was witnessing two things... Kirsten's first real friendship (even though it only lasted the moments we were at the fountain) and the first time she didn't need me anymore.

I spend every day with her. It is just us girls and I love it. We go shopping, to the pool, we watch movies, and I sneak her cookies before her nap. We have a bond.

Seeing her drop my hand made this whole "growing up" thing more real for me. Eventually this will be the norm. She will think it isn't cool anymore to hold her mom's hand. Or be seen with me. Or wear a pretty dress to dinner with me.

I was just hoping that day wasn't today.

(slightly) Wordless Wednesday

"Cancer sucks!"
Karen Wheeler
dear friend, and best cancer-butt-kicker I ever met



Photo taken after we completed the 3 mile walk for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

Memorial Day Weekend

After weeks (actually an entire month) of rain here in Pittsburgh, it was such a welcomed break this weekend to see some sun!
We celebrated by taking Kirsten to the pool!

Here is our weekend....







It is pretty amazing to see how far we have come in a year. Last year at the pool we carried bottles with us, and someone had to constantly hold Kirsten in the pool. Now she plays independently in the baby pool, walking right past us and up to the kid with the best toys. I was able to enjoy a cocktail while catching some sun, completely unheard of last year. I could see her making friends, and growing up there, and making childhood memories, just as I did when I was a kid. My favorite summer memories take place at the pool we went to every year. It is really amazing to see summer through the same eyes my own mother had years ago.

Ok... I get it now

A perfect day....

We started out by going to Target for some pool items. The pool opens this weekend and we needed new "big girl" toys, beach towels, and lotion. I had fun walking up and down the aisles talking about summer with her, and seeing her face light up when I showed her the Dora beach towel I was getting her. She is such a little girl now!

We then went to the mall to play. Not shop. Just play. We went to Giggles & Smiles and she had the absolute best time. She went from the ball pit to the slides to the race cars faster than I could keep up. We weren't tantrum free... but that didn't seem to matter. Her smiles as she went down the huge slide all by herself was worth every second.

We then shared some lunch at the food court, then rode the merry-go-round to cap off the trip. She loves that ride, and I love the squeals that come from her as we go round and round and round.

Once we got home I hoped she would sleep, but she fought her nap for an hour. I gave in, and instead of hiding in the bathroom from my sleep deprived toddler, I got out her bathing suit and started to blow up the pool. While she happily played with the sidewalk chalk on the back patio, I filled the pool and got everything ready.




The second she hit the water she was in love. What a difference from last year! Last year she was just this blob, sitting in the water making tiny splashes. She was all over the pool, playing with her toys, licking the water, getting in and out all by herself... she was in her glory. And I loved laying on the towel watching as she just enjoyed the sunny afternoon.

We hit her wall shortly after... and she is currently asleep. And looking back, today was great.

I stress a lot being home with Kirsten and feeling like I filled her day with fun and educational things. I want to be a good mom, and feel pressure from all of those other amazing mommies out there to keep up. I feel like I have to be able to bake cookies, do a load of laundry, think of a fun craft to do with her, and have dinner on the table all at the same time. In reality, that is never true, but when you start to stay at home, it becomes that little voice inside your head.

I think I earned my gold star for the day.

Wordless Wednesday - Like mother like daughter

Fashion never takes a day off....

Thank-you Tina Fey

I have written a few entries about my troubles with breast feeding. I have also written many entries about those mommies who's life plan is to bring down every mom who isn't exactly like them.

There's no answer to why we do it, why mother's feel the need to constantly defend their choices or feel bad because we may have failed at something. If our kids are still alive, happy, and not laying in large piles of poo... then we didn't fail. So why do we walk around feeling like big losers half the time?

Well I just wanted to share this bit from Tina Fey's new book, Bossypants. She basically says everything I ever wanted to say about my big huge fail at breast feeding. It just wasn't in the cards for me and Kirsten. And I shouldn't be ashamed of that. However, I feel constant shame because of it. Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do we always do this?

Well maybe she can at least make us laugh and finally get over the guilt....


After giving in and feeding her child bottles of formula: "However, the baby was thriving. I was no longer feeling trapped, spending thirty out of every ninety minutes attached to a William-Sonoma Tit Juicer. But I still had an overwhelming feeling of disappointment. I had failed at something that was supposed to be natural."


She goes on to describe the shame that happens after you officially give up on breast feeding. The times you are with friends who do it with ease and talk about how they are saving so much money and bonding their their child. You lie. You try to rationalize it in your head, "I tried. No one can say I didn't give it every ounce of my effort." I spent months doing this. And I truly hated myself for being such a jerk to myself! And for judging my friends and needing to put them down because it made me feel better.

It is refreshing to hear the same words I have said no many times in my head from someone else. Someone of a little more authority than myself. Maybe now I can finally let go of it.

Wordless.... oh F it!

MY KID IS WALKIN' Y'ALL!

So this is it...

When I was in 5th grade I won a writing contest sponsored by McDonald's called "When I Grow Up." We were to write an essay discussing what we would like to be when we grew up, and list the subjects in school that would help us get to that point. I went home the night that my teacher announced the contest, holding the flyer with Ronald McDonald on it, excited to write my amazing essay.

Why was I so excited?

Well that summer Jurasic Park came out, and after seeing it on the big screen I knew exactly what I wanted to be, a Paleontologist. What 5th grader understands that occupation, let alone can say it, is beyond me, but it is what I decided to do and I wanted to write to the people at McDonald's and tell them all about it.

I sat down at our kitchen table armed with a note pad and plenty of sharp pencils. I went through several rough drafts before I was satisfied and knew I held the award winning essay. My dad read it over, gave me suggestions, and we sat at our ancient computer (well now it seems ancient, then it was pretty cool we even owned one) and typed out the greatest work ever written by a 5th grader.

I submitted my work the next day at school. I even had it in a pink folder and included a title page, complete with dinosaur stickers. I wanted to win, and I wasn't below trying to out "cute" everyone else.

I am not sure how much time went by until we found out the winner, but on that fateful day, while I sat in math class doing long division or something, Ronald McDonald himself waltzed into my 5th grade classroom. I couldn't believe he had time in his busy schedule to visit my school, let alone come to my classroom. This was big.

We all sat in anticipation as we waited to hear what he had to say. "Boys and girl, I am here to award a special little girl with the award for the best 'When I Grow Up' essay." We were on the edges of our seats. Who was it??

Then.... he announced my name!

I felt like Sally Field when she went up to receive that Oscar... "YOU LOVE ME!" I wanted to shout!

I got a plaque, McDonald's gift certificates, and my photo in the local paper with Ronald. I was on top of the world.

I kept this up for a few years, loving science and wanting to dig for dinosaur bones for a living. When that appeared to be out of reach, and my hatred for math really shone through each report card, I needed to rethink this career path. In 8th grade I had a really amazing English teacher and she made me see that my strengths weren't in digging through the dirt, but in writing. From that point on, I wanted to be a writer.

I even went to college for this. I studied English and Art History and minored in Writing. I was going to write and no one would stop me, I mean heck, I had Ronald on my side!

And then I graduated.

Everyone jokes about it while in college, but the fact that my English courses were always so full, I never believed it, but English is such a joke of a major. Aside from being a teacher or actually being able to work for the Times, you're screwed. I was one of the few who thought I could live in a log cabin somewhere and just write. And people would love my books. I'd be a loner who frequented coffee shops and everyone would be like, "oh Erika sits on that couch in the back. She wrote her first New York Times best seller there." Sadly... none of this ever happened. Sure I frequent the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts daily, but I'm sure they only know me as "iced caramel latte lady" and not the hip, cool writer who is between novels.

I was leaving work the other day when all of this came rushing back to me. I am so defined by being a mommy, it has consumed my life for the past 2 years, that I completely forgot about all of this other stuff. My job is being a mom, and working retail is what I do because I enjoy it, it pays some bills, and it works around my husband's schedule.

I wonder if I would have won if I wrote about that?