Thank-you Tina Fey

I have written a few entries about my troubles with breast feeding. I have also written many entries about those mommies who's life plan is to bring down every mom who isn't exactly like them.

There's no answer to why we do it, why mother's feel the need to constantly defend their choices or feel bad because we may have failed at something. If our kids are still alive, happy, and not laying in large piles of poo... then we didn't fail. So why do we walk around feeling like big losers half the time?

Well I just wanted to share this bit from Tina Fey's new book, Bossypants. She basically says everything I ever wanted to say about my big huge fail at breast feeding. It just wasn't in the cards for me and Kirsten. And I shouldn't be ashamed of that. However, I feel constant shame because of it. Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do we always do this?

Well maybe she can at least make us laugh and finally get over the guilt....


After giving in and feeding her child bottles of formula: "However, the baby was thriving. I was no longer feeling trapped, spending thirty out of every ninety minutes attached to a William-Sonoma Tit Juicer. But I still had an overwhelming feeling of disappointment. I had failed at something that was supposed to be natural."


She goes on to describe the shame that happens after you officially give up on breast feeding. The times you are with friends who do it with ease and talk about how they are saving so much money and bonding their their child. You lie. You try to rationalize it in your head, "I tried. No one can say I didn't give it every ounce of my effort." I spent months doing this. And I truly hated myself for being such a jerk to myself! And for judging my friends and needing to put them down because it made me feel better.

It is refreshing to hear the same words I have said no many times in my head from someone else. Someone of a little more authority than myself. Maybe now I can finally let go of it.