Posts
No seriously, WHY?
Why is it that that motherhood causes us to become absolutely batty about things "possibly" happening? Let me be more specific... while pregnant, from about 37 weeks on, I felt like every little twitch, gurgle, or pain was me going into labor. Baby kicked... OH MY GOD ITS TIME! Of course it wasn't time. I would know when it was time. But as someone who NEVER experienced labor before, I took every little minor thing as a sign that the baby was about to come flying out of my body and someone needed to be there to catch it.
Well now that the baby is out, and someone successfully caught her, I have new "OH MY GOD THIS IS IT" moments. These are now called I MUST BE PREGNANT AGAIN moments. I am in constant fear of getting pregnant again. Not that I wouldn't welcome another baby and be extremely happy about it, but honestly, not now, please! We are good with one, and will discuss another at a later day (if ever).
Here I am, nearly 5 month post giving birth, and I live in constant fear of being knocked up. And every little thing that happens to me I see as a sign. Perhaps it is because with Kirsten we had no idea I was pregnant until about 11 weeks along. I went through those first weeks thinking I had the flu, the heat was just getting to me, or my hormones were out of control. Turns out, I was pregnant.
So now everything is a sign pointing directly towards being pregnant. I get a stomach ache, must be pregnant. I feel a little dizzy, must be pregnant. I snap at my husband, MUST BE PREGNANT!
I cannot tell you how many times I have thought of running to the store to get the 50 pack of pregnancy tests, just so I have them handy for all of these moments. Chances are I would go through it in a week. I did pee on the ol' stick once since having Kirsten, and of course it was negative. But I had myself convinced I had a bun in the oven due to feeling car sick earlier that day.
So why is it that we do this to ourselves? Is it just me? Or are we doomed to now read into everything? I spent an entire pregnancy thinking something was wrong. Every little feeling just had to mean something. I could not just let it go or calm down and trust myself.
Why people? Why must we be doomed to a lifetime of over analyzing and keeping the pregnancy stick business booming???
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
It's not just you! I feel the same way much of the time. We are very happy with one right at nearly 9 months since baby girl was born, but the grey cloud seems to be looming over me (fear) of unexpectedly getting pregnant.
Nope, not just you. I have not POAS since V was born. But I have found myself, say if I get a little nauseated in the morning from not getting my caffine in time, thinking "oh my God..I hope I'm not pregnant" But then I forget about it and move on. Until the next time I get woozy, that is!
You are NOT alone girl. In april I was 9 days late (now I know it was from switching birth control). I FREAKED OUT. And every little muscle spasm or nauseous feeling I think I must be pregnant again.
Haha, no you're definitely not alone. I was a worrier and planner pre-pregnancy, though. Lily was a highly-planned baby. Like, I charted my temperatures, used ovulation sticks, the works. I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks with a special pregnancy test that picks up minute amounts of HCG.
Then I worried the entire pregnancy that something would go wrong. Of course, in my case, stuff did go wrong, but that's not the norm.
I sincerely believe that my nervousness during the pregnancy helped to create the high needs child Lily has been since birth, so now I vow not to worry during a second pregnancy (if I have one).
I have taken probably two pregnancy tests since Lily was born. The first one she was probably 8-9 months old, and I was terrified that it would be positive. The second one was about two months ago, and I wasn't really worried at all. Although, I did keep thinking about weird stuff like how I would get two children ready for bed at the same time, or how I would be able to shower with a toddler in one room and a baby in another. Now I actually WANT a second child, we'll have to see how that plays out.
I think I must be the only person who doesnt worry about this! Haha it seriously never crosses my mind! I was so so sick with Jack I guess I kind of assume I will know if Im pregnant, but I have never once though...I wonder if I should test...
Pretty sure that MOST people feel the way you do though...I remember my sister being CONVINCED she was PG about five months Postpartum
I missed 3 months after I had Olivia. She was around 4 months old. I probably peed on 10 sticks.
Now that I'm really pregnant again, I realize those pings and mood swings were nothing compared to the real thing. haha
Post a Comment