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I wasn't born yesterday, I completely understand that men and women are very different in many different ways. We don't think alike, our emotions couldn't be further apart, and we go about tasks very differently.
When it comes to parenting I understand that we both have different styles. I prefer to run to Kirsten's side the moment she is crying, not take the time to pee and lazily walk down the hallway before attending to her. I hold off on all pee breaks if she needs me. My bladder is now programmed to not work unless the baby is asleep.
Something that seems to always bother me is mostly how we just interact with the baby. Maybe bother is the wrong word.... irritate?
When Kirsten wakes up in the middle of the night and it is my turn to tend to her, I rush out of our bedroom door as though the house is on fire. I make a bottle with such speed that I even surprise myself, since it is usually some random hour like 2am. I hurry into her room, pick her up, and rock her. My theory is, if I can get to her before she REALLY wakes herself up, then it will be easily to get her back to sleep. Usually this works out well.
My husband, however, prefers to take his time when it comes to dealing with the baby. She wakes up in the middle of the night and it feels like 30 minutes goes by before he actually makes it to her room to feed her. He goes in the bathroom, takes his time making a bottle all while Kirsten is screaming from her room. I lay in bed grinding my teeth thinking, "She is going to wake up and you are going to have a heck of a time getting her back down. And then who will have to get up and finish putting her to bed?????" ::grind grind grind::
Another thing he does that always gets under my skin is his need to put her in or on things... like a bouncer or play mat. He holds her for about 5 minutes and then says, "Oh you want to go in your bouncer?" and straps her on in. He then immediately leaves the room, leaving me with the baby who HATES her bouncer!
Why do men do this? I break my back carrying her around with me, doing everything with one hand, and holding off on all projects until she is happy playing or asleep. My husband though would rather put her down and let her scream until it gets to that "oh my god I am about to die" scream.
Why are we programmed so differently? Why do we as motehrs feel this need to be attached, literally, to our babies whereas our husbands see nothing wrong with just placing the baby down and going down in the basement for 30 minutes doing who knows what (probably hiding so that I have to get the baby).
Friday, June 4, 2010
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3 comments:
I completely understand on this one! My husband takes his sweet time when our little guys is crying. How does the screaming NOT bother them?? They are definitely programmed differently!
You take turns feeding Kirsten at night?! That is absolutely unheard of in my house lol. Scot sleeps through everything..and I mean everything. When DD was waking up every 3 hrs during the night, I fed her in my bed, every cry, scream, burp, fart had no effect on his sleep!
I don't know why men are programmed the way they are, it is something I would love to know. Scot loves to hold her for 5 mins then put her down or give her to me. I am with her 24 hrs a day!!
Well.... it's almost the exact opposite at our house. Sort of. The similarity is that until recently it's been me that does most of the care taking and a lot of the playing with her, but it's him that jumps the second she makes a peep. Where if I hear her first in the middle of the night, I turn the sound off on the video monitor and watch her for 5 minutes to see if she'll put herself back to sleep first. If Craig hears her, he goes to get her, which wakes her completely and then I have to walk, rock & soothe her until she gets back to sleep.
Really long comment to say that every one is just different in how they parent. But I did hear that for the first few months to a year, babies just aren't interesting to men. Sucks and is stupid, but maybe there's some truth to it. They love them for sure, there's just only so much rattle shaking and blowing raspberries they can do.
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