Mom's Got Skills

I read a lot of fellow mommy bloggers and a lot of people post about the funny talents they came up with or never knew they had until they became a mom. It is so true, we sign up to feed, cloth, nurture, and take care of a baby, but the job quickly turns into 500 different things before the kid even turns 1.

Here are a few skills I have now acquired since becoming a mommy....


* I can now feed a baby (bottle) and type on the computer at the same time. I'd like to thank my many years of talking on the whole while doing my nails for this particular skill. Sometimes I use the "bottle under the chin" method or opt for the "reach around" where I cradle the baby and hold the bottle in the same hand.

* All moms know how to army crawl from very early on. We learned this because we are absolutely 100% scared to wake a sleeping baby. Why? Because there are some days when it takes literally ALL DAY to get the kid to sleep in the first place. Or maybe Oprah is REALLY good today and we just need 10 more minutes! I have army crawled my way in and out of Kirsten's room on many occasions. I do this either to insert a binky or turn her jungle sound machine on repeat to keep her asleep. The object of this game? If baby sees you, you're done. The screaming and rolling around will start and you are forced to pick her up and DVR the rest of 16 & Pregnant.

* You lose all sense of privacy. I first lost it when I got my dog. He had to be everywhere that I went, including the bathroom, so I started to use it with the door wide open. I moved in with my husband, then boyfriend, and I regained my privacy. I couldn't let him know of all the secret things that went on in the bathroom when a woman was in there, so I closed the door and would try to pee as quietly as possible. I eventually got over that fear but still would feel the need to unwrap a tampon as though I was diffusing a bomb. This was short lived, because we got pregnant and the baby arrived. Gone are my days of ever closing the bathroom door. I leave it open simply because I am terrified she will hear it and wake up. Or I need to keep an eye on her while she plays on the floor outside the door. Even better, I learned VERY quickly to pee while she was strapped to my in her Moby wrap. Never thought I'd see the day where I would be peeing while a person was attached to my chest sleeping.

* You know those spots in your floor that creek every time you step on them? We have a lot in our house because an old wood floor is under our carpeting, so really no one can walk though without being detected. Since our dog is very far from being a guard dog, this is our only line of defense against a robber. Well since having the baby they have become a problem. I put her down and creek my way out of her room, usually causing her to stir. Or I try to walk up the stairs and to my bedroom just to get a small item, and what could have been a good nap turns into her waking up and screaming. All because of a creek in the floor! Well I'm crafty and like all moms learn the tricks to keep a kid asleep. I can now navigate my way through my entire house without hitting a single spot that will moan or creek under my feet. I can even do this in pitch black night. My husband has yet tp fully grasp this concept of being quiet after baby goes to bed, but me, I am a pro.