Tales of a Poopy Diaper: Shopping

I am pretty certain Mother Nature was on her period last week; because we had TWO count em, TWO poopy diaper blowouts while using disposable diapers. I tried to justify it by using Huggies Pure and Natural diapers (hey, the package says they are environmentally safe!) but she was having none of it.

I wrote about the first episode, where we had poop all the way up the back and then Mrs. Smug Pants Magee decided to just make my day even better!

Well episode number two occurred two days later. I was out and about with the baby, again, trying to shop for various items. I was at an outdoor strip mall, enjoying the weather with Kirsten inside her ERGO baby carrier. She was having a good time, seeing the world from my vantage point, and I felt really good about the day. After the whole dress shopping debacle I was really excited for a good shopping experience.

I was breezing through the home goods section of TJ Maxx when the explosion happened. I looked down at Kirsten and she was red faced and really concentrating on something. I knew it, I know that face far too well. Just then the whole store heard her butt just explode! Thankfully the baby was in clear sight, or else I would have to play the "no it was the baby" game with the people who were standing nearby. An older woman giggled and said, "oooooh someone really had to go! hehehehe" Thanks lady, if it's so funny, how about I pass her off and YOU change the diaper!?

Anyway, I figured she would be pushing for a bit, so I gathered my items and headed for checkout. Things were beginning to get stinky so I tried to face her away from the guy checking us out. He must have thought I was crazy, turning away from him and not making eye contact or giving in to his small talk. Sorry dude, no time to discuss the weather! I have a poo-sposion attached to me torso!

Thankfully there was a Panera Bread next door. I ran inside and began setting up the diaper station, feeling good about being super prepared this time. As I unhooked the carrier and began to take Kirsten off of me, that is when I saw it, she pooped all the up the front, through the front of her pants and ONTO ME!!! (Tori Spelling discussed this in her book MommyWood and when I found out I was having a girl I anticipated this moment. The “poo up the puss” moment. Well here it was, thanks for the warning Tori!)

Dear Karma, THANK YOU!

I never changed a poo-explosion that quickly. I was terrified someone would walk in and think I decided to roll around in my daughter's dirty diaper. Without anything to really do about myself (I was wearing a yellow dress at the time) I attached Kirsten to me and sprinted for the exit. I could only imagine how badly we smelled, or how weird it must have looked to see me run full sprint from the bathroom to the parking lot!

Thankfully we got home quickly and I was able to change us both. Kirsten just giggled and chewed on her hand, her answer to all of life's problems. I chose to soak my dress and pray for a better shopping experience next time.